I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
