everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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