smell my finger.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
