worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
