He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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