If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
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