How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
