Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
