Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
