Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
my god I love twenty year old dicks
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
