going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
