sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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