she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
