I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
