He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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