we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
