We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Randomize
