Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Life is so much better after having sex.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
