Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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