so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
