Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
How does one acquire holy water?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
