This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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