who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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