Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
