lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
