i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
