at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
