From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
