Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
