have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
