haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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