In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
