I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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