I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
