Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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