but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
