I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
