I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
