Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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