It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
