My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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