??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
