would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
