I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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