so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
