left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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