I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
