I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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