Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
