I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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