Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
