Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
