Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
